To see thee more dearly...

While walking in the Mastihito trails, I always sang a little song that helped to bring me out of my thoughts and into the present moment.  The song was “Day by Day” from the musical Godspell except that I had changed the words to focus attention on the experience of my five senses.  My intention was to get out of my head and into my body so that through my bodily senses I might experience God more intimately in the world.  Therefore, instead of singing, “to see Thee more clearly, love Thee more dearly, and follow Thee more nearly day by day,”  I would sing, “to see Thee more clearly, to see Thee more dearly, and to see Thee more nearly day by day.”  Then I would sing it over and over again replacing the word “see” with “hear,” then “smell,” then “taste,” and finally “touch,” and with each verse I would concentrate on using that sense to perceive God more deeply in my experience of the world.

During one walk, however, I was feeling agitated and disconnected from God. I had been talking and talking to God, but not listening…  Finally I stopped on the path in frustration and looked up into the trees and angrily bellowed, “Are you conscious of me God, right now, right here in these woods?”   When I didn’t get a response (what was I expecting anyway?), I started walking again.  However, I had only gone a few feet when I heard noises off to my right.  I looked and there was a young deer cautiously approaching me.  It stopped about 15 or 20 feet from me and simply looked into my eyes for about 10 minutes.  Finally it turned and quietly moved back into the woods.  I had been very touched by the experience and paused to ask God, “What was that all about?”  Immediately, in response to my question, a phrase from the song, “Day by Day,” which I mentioned earlier, popped into my head. The musical answer to my question was,  “To see thee more DEERly!”

Prayer of Gratitude

Prayer of Gratitude

Dear God,

I celebrate your gentle presence with me here now.               

Like the steady glow of a candle flame,

You warm the darkness with your soft touch.

When I let myself be with you -

When I let myself feel your loving gaze upon me -

I want to laugh at all my funny fears. 

I want to dance with abandon to

The intoxicating music of life that is you. 

Filled with your song, I have no desire

Other than to sing in harmony with your many voices.

Oh that my presence in this world can be an open channel

Pouring forth your sweet and tender love on all.

Oh what a privilege, oh what heavenly joy!

You are the source, You ARE life!

There is nothing more I could ask than to be your vessel.

Let it be me, dear God, let it be me.

Today and always,

Thank-you, God, thank-you.

by Karen Bacon

3 MYSTICAL ECSTATIC EXPERIENCES

One of the First Early Transformative Experiences 

Today I went walking in the Mastihito Trails early in the morning moonlight and - and I encountered God.  How can I explain the indescribable? I felt as if I were a filter and a powerful wind came and passed through me ... I don’t recall exactly when it started, but at some point I began to experience a flow of knowledge and insight from what seemed like an all knowing Source and it filled my mind and body to overflowing.  I could hardly believe what was happening to me!  Eventually the experience became so intense that the  wisdom I was recieving (and could not retain) no longer seemed important and I was simply filled with incredible JOY! I began laughing and laughing like a beloved whose lover kisses her with such unceasing passion that she breaks away, gasping for air and laughing for joy at the same time!  I felt so aware and full of love  - so connected to life all around me.  Gratitude just poured forth from my heart. 

Then I saw an image in my mind that brought me to tears of joy.  In this image I saw myself driving alone for what seemed like forever in a barren wilderness, lost and afraid. Ilong for another human voice to comfort me, to assure me that I'm headed somewhere - getting closer to something... I click on the radio and turn the knob, desperate to hear something besides the all too familiar static.  I search and search, my determination slowly giving way to despair.  Then, just as I'm about to give up all hope, the meaningless noise gives way to a mysterious silence.  I freeze.  Suddenly, to my great JOY, a voice comes through - and it is not just any voice, but a wonderful, loving voice that knows who I am, where I am and desires to answer all the questions in my heart!  Now I know that I am not lost, that I have nothing to fear and, most important of all, that I am not alone! I never was.  I was only asleep, dreaming, and now I have awakened.  Thank you God!

A Winter Experience

My experience of ecstacy today started with the sound of snow crystals.  As I walked, little daggers of icy snow flew from my boots onto the exquisitely designed ice windows atop ruts in the path.  I noticed the delicate sound and stopped.  Then I began to experiment.  Without words to define my experience, I listened, looked, touched, smelled and even tasted the world about me...  I allowed myself to experience God in a new way.  I didn't try to describe, explain or understand - just experience... Then my heart seemed to open and I knew myself to be in all things.  At one point, birds from everywhere seemed to come to be with me and when they sang it felt as if it were my own voice.

              All I could do was stand silently watching the sun rise through the trees and gradually move across the sky.  Before long, I saw circles of color around it - first blues and purples, then red, orange and finally yellow.  Then a sparkeling, intricate web of light surrounded the sun and then a mystical tunnel formed leading to it... Finally, the sun appeared as the “eye of God” with a dark purple iris moving about at the center and I watched it "seeing" me...  It was all very spectacular.  I didn't want to ever move from that spot and stood there in absolute joy a long, long time... ... and then God spoke to me, but who would believe that...

             I don't know if a baby just born cries out in fear or joy, but this morning on the trails I fell to my knees, bent over, clasped my hands and with eyes closed tight, I sobbed for joy.  Eventually, I caught my breath and raised my head.  Then reaching up to the heavens, I stared into the beautiful blueness of the sky and began to sob again until the tears turned into hearty, happy laughter.  I felt intoxicated with the love of God.

The Physical Experience:

   After I left the trails and was walking home along the streets, I continued to grin from ear to ear.  My body was tingeling all over and my hands were shaking.  Incredibly happy and lightheaded, I found myself staggering at times as if I were drunk.  Once home, I greeted the pets with a song and dropped my coat and hat to the floor.  I found Jamie (my Daughter) in the livingroom and dropped into a chair opposite her.  I didn't know how to answer her question about what was going on.  She seemed a little scared.  I was so filled with joy, I couldn't speak at first.  Finally I began to try and describe my experience...  As I talked, I laughed and I cried.  Tears of Joy kept streaming down my cheeks as I stared up at the ceiling.  Physically my experience was focused around my eyes, forehead, temples and the top of my head where there seemed a "cresent radiating" at the center.  My ears were also ringing.  I felt incredibly thankful for all the people in my life that had provided me with the opportunity to grow.

Feelings About That Time

Each morning that I wake has come to feel like Christmas morning!  When I open my eyes at 5:30 or 6 I can hardly wait to get started.  I have no doubt there will be new and wondorous experiences that, like magical presents beneath a Christmas tree, are waiting in silence to be revealed.   Hastily I bundle up, anticipating the exquisite pleasure and joy that have become the norm on my winter walks in the woods.  Sometimes these are wild and ecstatic, and at other times, peaceful and expansive.  Both have forever changed my life.  It’s hard to explain what has happened to me...  Words fail to describe what my rational brain simply cannot grasp.  However, the felt experiences, the wordless understandings, these are etched in the depths of my soul...  In some strange way, it’s as if they’ve always been there hidden.  I guess all I’m doing now is scratching through the surface barrier, breaking through the illusions I had thought to be true to a new way of perceiving!  And I must say, this process of waking up is delicious!!

      

Memorial Day Sunday Experience

I was at the front of the church sitting in choir, looking out over the congregation. Nothing especially inspiring was going on – at least nothing that would trigger an ecstatic experience. The service was very somber with people coming up and lighting candles for those who had died the year before. I wasn't thinking of anything in particular when a strange feeling began to grow – and grow!  I began to feel so light I thought I was going to start floating off my seat!  And not only that, but I felt as if I were radiating light and thought surely people must be able to see me glowing! Filled with an overwhelming experience of peace and love and joy, I didn't know what to do!  It was so totally bizarre… I could even feel my chest extending about a foot in front of where my body should have stopped.  My only desire was to pour out love onto every person there.  I almost got up and left  church because I didn't want to disrupt the service…  I was feeling such love, such amazing love, and I felt I was going to cry.  I was actually afraid I was going to go out and begin embracing people... 

I experienced no emotional neediness - no need for approval, or acceptence, or anything from anyone!  Nor did I have a need for anyone to change a single thing about themselves.  Every person there appeared incredibly worthy and wonderful... There was the librel and the conservative, the sweet and the crabby, the serious and the silly, the educated and the uneducated, and they were all perfect just the way they were!  I don't recall all the details of my experience, but I know it was so huge, so incredibly extreme, I just didn't know what to do. (At one point I did look to the woman sitting next to me and say 'I am having a really good day!)  It lasted throughout the service (and into the coffee hr.) and while everyone else was being so very serious, I sat there unable to stop grinning from ear to ear! The joy was almost unbearable!!

A Mystical Exp. In Ashland

I had just bought the CWG book 1 on CD and had decided to listen to some of it.  Not knowing what was on which CD, I just picked the 5th one at random and laid down on the bed.  I fell asleep, but about 3/4 of the way through I was jolted wide awake!  I don’t think my eyes were open, but I was extremely alert and conscious and felt as if I were floating in another dimension.  The sound of the voices on the CD were loud and clear and it totally filled and surrounded and flowed through me in a way I can’t even describe...  At first I was frightened, but soon decided that since I desired God to communicate with me in any way at any time, I’d better relax and listen. So I did (Checking the book, I found it had started around pg. 137 and went to 143).  Eventually the CD ended and the last words, which seemed burned into my brain, were, “Many Masters have been sent to the Earth to demonstrate Eternal Truth.  Others, such as John the Baptist, have been sent as messengers, telling of the Truth in glowing terms, speaking of God with unmistakable clarity.  These special messengers have been gifted with extraordinary insight, and the very special power to see and receive Eternal Truth, plus the ability to communicate complex concepts in ways that can and will be understood by the masses. You are such a messenger.”  Then there was sudden total silence and I was back in my room.  In complete shock I got up and paced the floor in shock and completely in awe.  I kept saying over and over, “My God, the magic is real!”

A Bird Learning to Soar

An Early Description of My Process

            Most of my life I’ve been weighted down by my neediness in the world...  a bird grounded on earth.   I recognized I had wings, but did not really know why or what to do with them.  So I ran about on foot struggling to stay alive, envious of those famous birds in history who I’d heard had been able to fly.   Sure I’d been told that we were all made in the same image, but I believed the mystical birds to be magical creatures, not a bird like myself.  Even so, there were times in the midst of great pain and frustration that a longing would well up in my heart and something deep within would stir.  In confusion I would find myself stretching forth my wings and frantically flailing about.  At those times I would cry out, “Why can’t my wings be magic too?  I want to soar up into the heavens and be free!”  Occasionally as I floundered, I felt as if I rose an inch or two off the ground, but always I convinced myself that it was just my imagination. 

            Then one day I read an amazing book about flying which stated that all birds had the capacity to fly - and I wondered… did it mean even those as hopeless as me?  It described how the magical birds of the past had taught that the ability to fly was not magical , but a bird’s natural birthright!  The author explained that birds who couldn’t fly had merely forgotten how and that the ancient ones had come to be examples for us to follow, birds that we could emulate.  He said that by virtue of our being birds with both feet and wings, we could choose at our discretion to walk on the earth or fly through the heavens.  He explained how the earths’ gravity could be used not only to hold one down, but lift one up as well - and that we need only look within for direction!

            Whoa! Filled with excitement and anticipation, I then struck out to try and fly.  I bobbed my head, wagged my tail, stretched out my wings and sang a song.  It felt wonderful - however, nothing too exciting happened.  Still, I did not give up, but tried again and again, day after day until one day I had an incredible experience. I had stretched out my wings when an unknown wind came by and lifted me high into the heavens.  I felt such freedom - such peace and love and joy, that the burden of all my perceived neediness and fears faded in the ecstasy.  I knew then what it meant to be a bird and what it meant to fly.  This was what I had always yearned for deep within my heart, this was my purpose and my deepest desire! 

            Since that day I have sought with passion to become the bird I am meant to be.  I look and listen and practice, practice, practice.  At times the wind has returned and lifted me to heights above where words lose their meaning.  At other times, I stumble and stagger - laughing at my clumsiness - and sometimes crying too.  At those times I pray, “Guide me and help me be patient and compassionate with myself.”    But now no matter what I feel, I know what I am meant to be – and that I am not alone. 

            As you might expect, many other flyers, usually authors, have come into my life. Many have extensive experience and exquisite insight - while others have only flown in airplanes.  I am grateful for them all.  Supported by their inspiration, my explorations into flight have been increasingly successful.   It’s hard work (except when it’s not...), but I’m gradually making progress.  And I’m not just talking about short hops, but prolonged flight! ...Well... maybe a flight long enough to get me into the tops of bushes... but, no matter, because, in case you don’t know, flying is a glorious experience and now that I have begun who knows where I might go!!!!

A Story: The Tribe with Amnesia

Years ago when I first started to explore the many, and often conflicting, paths in spirituality, I found myself feeling anxious and overwhelmed.  I wondered how I could possibly know which spiritual paths could be trusted to contain truth. So I turned to God and asked for guidance and in response, I received this story.

In the story, the ocean represents the world, life on the physical plan, and symbolizes what we know and understand with our 5 senses. It is not “wrong” or “bad.” Like the ocean, the world is a good place to “play in,” a place to experience and express ourselves, and an opportunity to grow in love and understanding. The story points out, however, that, like the salty water, the world cannot provide ultimate nourishment, and demonstrates the craziness that results when we try to make it our source or “home.”  In the end, we are shown that it is only from the unseen depths of mystery, or God, as symbolized by the deep fresh water well, that true nourishment comes.  

“Once upon a time there was a tribe of people stricken with amnesia trying to find a place to settle. They were very thirsty and when they came upon the ocean they celebrated. Before them stretched what seemed like an endless supply of water. Certain they would never thirst again, they decided to make the shore their home. [ Of course, we know that salt water cannot satisfy the body's thirst, but they had forgotten who they were and how to meet their needs. ] Over time they became even thirstier and their bodies began to waste away. But the more they craved water the greedier and more possessive of the ocean they became.

            One day another tribe of people appeared on the shore not far from them. This filled them with fear for their need was great and they believed that without this water they would die. Desperate to keep it for themselves, they decided to drive the others away. Assuming, however, that the strangers had the same need and might fight back, they decided to first spy on them and find their weaknesses. And so they hid from view and watched.

            To their amazement, the new people appeared very healthy and happy even though they did not spend their time kneeling before the ocean drinking. Instead, they swam, fished, boated, and played without a care. The people of great thirst became jealous. They began to say that that part of the ocean must be better and that they must take it to insure their own survival. However, one courageous little girl spoke up saying, “ But they don’t even drink the water - not even a sip...” Shocked, the people began to whisper, “ It’s true - they must be gods! “ Then a young man stepped forward and said, “But I have seen them drink - though not of the ocean. They drank from the gourds they brought with them...”

            Suddenly a watchman broke into the clearing and cried, “ They are leaving! They have packed up their things and are moving into the woods. The elders quickly gathered together and talked quietly. Soon they turned to the group and announced, “We must follow them and find out the secret ocean that nourishes them! “  And so they followed the laughing, singing, dancing people until they came to their village.

            By the time they arrived, the thirst driven people were half crazed. They charged in with weapons drawn and demanded to be given the location of the ocean that provided such life giving water. The surprised look of the healthy people quickly turned to compassion as they looked upon the dying desperadoes. A beautiful woman stepped forward and pointed to a nearby well saying, “ The well is deep and never runs dry. Take what you need and it will still be full. There is plenty for all. “

            Several of the people immediately moved forward reaching for the cup, but an elder stepped between them and commanded that they stop. “It’s a trick!“ he shouted. “ How can there be an ocean in a hole in the ground? We can’t see it or touch it, we can’t smell it or taste it, - we can’t even hear the waves on the shore! They lie! They must think we are fools. Come away and let us return to our ocean. That is a source of water we can know and believe in! These evil people only wish to poison us so they can take it all for themselves! “

            Again the beautiful woman stepped forward and spoke gently. “ Wait. If you cannot trust our words then trust your eyes. We are healthy and strong, but we do not drink the water of your ocean. You do and you are dying. Do you not wish to live and be happy? “ With that she went to the well, filled her cup and drank. Turning to the angry elder she offered it saying, “ Do not be afraid. Trust your own body. Drink and you will be nourished. “ Fearful, the man backed away.  Then before he could stop him, his son came forward and took the cup and drank long. The people held their breath and waited in silence. Slowly the young man lowered the cup and paused. Suddenly he broke into a grin, lifted his face to the sky and raised his cup high shouting, “ It is good!!!””

This story taught me that the test of goodness for any path depended upon me going within and trusting my inner experience to recognize that which was life sustaining – that which brought unity/wholeness/healing.  That I would know what was true by the deep way I would resonate with it and by the way it fed my soul bringing me greater peace, love and joy.

Introducing Myself--Rev. Karen Bacon

In a nutshell, I am proof that dead people can live again! No, I didn’t physically die and come back to life as with an NDE.  I was simply one of those people who had died inside and then, miraculously, was “born again!”  Let me clarify that. Most my life I had struggled with a kind of mental illness. Eventually diagnosed with clinical depression and dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality), I fought (despite great inner pain) to function and appear “normal.”  I managed to marry at 18, had 2 beautiful children and eventually got a BS in clinical/community psychology.  I even helped my husband through seminary and became a United Methodist minister’s wife! However, the longer I tried to play the game of “normal,” the “crazier” I got. In the last 10 yrs. of this hellish rollercoaster ride, despite years of therapy, the self harm and suicide attempts became so extreme, I was put on heavy duty medications, repeatedly hospitalized on DID units, and even given electroshock treatments.  The next stop was death!  And then something began to change.  Though I had given up on God long ago, I began having what I called “mystical, ecstatic experiences” and before I knew it, the flames of hell had given way to heavenly bliss! My life healed and the spiritual path became my “pearl of great price!” In time, I was ordained an interfaith minister and then, in 2012, graduated as an interspiritual counselor.  And that’s it in a nutshell!

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