One of the First Early Transformative Experiences
Today I
went walking in the Mastihito Trails early in the morning moonlight and - and I
encountered God. How can I explain
the indescribable? I felt as if I were a filter and a powerful wind came and
passed through me ... I don’t recall exactly when it started, but at some point
I began to experience a flow of knowledge and insight from what seemed like an
all knowing Source and it filled my mind and body to overflowing. I could hardly believe what was happening
to me! Eventually the experience
became so intense that the wisdom
I was recieving (and could not retain) no longer seemed important and I was
simply filled with incredible JOY! I began laughing and laughing like a beloved
whose lover kisses her with such unceasing passion that she breaks away,
gasping for air and laughing for joy at the same time! I felt so aware and full of love - so connected to life all around
me. Gratitude just poured forth
from my heart.
Then I saw
an image in my mind that brought me to tears of joy. In this image I saw myself driving alone for what seemed
like forever in a barren wilderness, lost and afraid. Ilong for another human
voice to comfort me, to assure me that I'm headed somewhere - getting closer to
something... I click on the radio and turn the knob, desperate to hear
something besides the all too familiar static. I search and search, my determination slowly giving way to
despair. Then, just as I'm about
to give up all hope, the meaningless noise gives way to a mysterious
silence. I freeze. Suddenly, to my great JOY, a voice
comes through - and it is not just any voice, but a wonderful, loving voice
that knows who I am, where I am and desires to answer all the questions in my
heart! Now I know that I am not
lost, that I have nothing to fear and, most important of all, that I am not
alone! I never was. I was only
asleep, dreaming, and now I have awakened. Thank you God!
A Winter Experience
My experience of ecstacy today started with the sound of snow
crystals. As I walked, little daggers
of icy snow flew from my boots onto the exquisitely designed ice windows atop
ruts in the path. I noticed the
delicate sound and stopped. Then I
began to experiment. Without words
to define my experience, I listened, looked, touched, smelled and even tasted
the world about me... I allowed
myself to experience God in a new way.
I didn't try to describe, explain or understand - just experience...
Then my heart seemed to open and I knew myself to be in all things. At one point, birds from everywhere
seemed to come to be with me and when they sang it felt as if it were my own
voice.
All
I could do was stand silently watching the sun rise through the trees and
gradually move across the sky. Before
long, I saw circles of color around it - first blues and purples, then red, orange
and finally yellow. Then a
sparkeling, intricate web of light surrounded the sun and then a mystical tunnel
formed leading to it... Finally, the sun appeared as the “eye of God” with a
dark purple iris moving about at the center and I watched it "seeing"
me... It was all very
spectacular. I didn't want to ever
move from that spot and stood there in absolute joy a long, long time... ...
and then God spoke to me, but who would believe that...
I don't know if a baby just born cries
out in fear or joy, but this morning on the trails I fell to my knees, bent
over, clasped my hands and with eyes closed tight, I sobbed for joy. Eventually, I caught my breath and
raised my head. Then reaching up
to the heavens, I stared into the beautiful blueness of the sky and began to
sob again until the tears turned into hearty, happy laughter. I felt intoxicated with the love of
God.
The
Physical Experience:
After I left the trails and was
walking home along the streets, I continued to grin from ear to ear. My body was tingeling all over and my
hands were shaking. Incredibly
happy and lightheaded, I found myself staggering at times as if I were
drunk. Once home, I greeted the
pets with a song and dropped my coat and hat to the floor. I found Jamie (my Daughter) in the
livingroom and dropped into a chair opposite her. I didn't know how to answer her question about what was
going on. She seemed a little
scared. I was so filled with joy,
I couldn't speak at first. Finally
I began to try and describe my experience... As I talked, I laughed and I cried. Tears of Joy kept streaming down my
cheeks as I stared up at the ceiling.
Physically my experience was focused around my eyes, forehead, temples
and the top of my head where there seemed a "cresent radiating" at
the center. My ears were also
ringing. I felt incredibly
thankful for all the people in my life that had provided me with the
opportunity to grow.
Feelings About That Time
Each
morning that I wake has come to feel like Christmas morning! When I open my eyes at 5:30 or 6 I can
hardly wait to get started. I have
no doubt there will be new and wondorous experiences that, like magical
presents beneath a Christmas tree, are waiting in silence to be revealed. Hastily I bundle up, anticipating
the exquisite pleasure and joy that have become the norm on my winter walks in
the woods. Sometimes these are wild
and ecstatic, and at other times, peaceful and expansive. Both have forever changed my life. It’s hard to explain what has happened
to me... Words fail to describe
what my rational brain simply cannot grasp. However, the felt experiences, the wordless understandings,
these are etched in the depths of my soul... In some strange way, it’s as if they’ve always been there
hidden. I guess all I’m doing now
is scratching through the surface barrier, breaking through the illusions I had
thought to be true to a new way of perceiving! And I must say, this process of waking up is delicious!!
Memorial Day Sunday Experience
I was at
the front of the church sitting in choir, looking out over the congregation. Nothing
especially inspiring was going on – at least nothing that would trigger an
ecstatic experience. The service was very somber with people coming up and
lighting candles for those who had died the year before. I wasn't thinking of
anything in particular when a strange feeling began to grow – and grow! I began to feel so light I thought I was
going to start floating off my seat! And not only that, but I felt as if I were radiating light
and thought surely people must be able to see me glowing! Filled with an
overwhelming experience of peace and love and joy, I didn't know what to do! It was so totally bizarre… I could even
feel my chest extending about a foot in front of where my body should have
stopped. My only desire was to
pour out love onto every person there. I almost got up and left church because I didn't want to disrupt the service… I was feeling such love, such amazing love,
and I felt I was going to cry. I
was actually afraid I was going to go out and begin embracing people...
I
experienced no emotional neediness - no need for approval, or acceptence, or
anything from anyone! Nor did I
have a need for anyone to change a single thing about themselves. Every person there appeared incredibly
worthy and wonderful... There was the librel and the conservative, the sweet and
the crabby, the serious and the silly, the educated and the uneducated, and
they were all perfect just the way they were! I don't recall all the details of my experience, but I know
it was so huge, so incredibly extreme, I just didn't know what to do. (At one
point I did look to the woman sitting next to me and say 'I am having a really
good day!) It lasted throughout
the service (and into the coffee hr.) and while everyone else was being so very
serious, I sat there unable to stop grinning from ear to ear! The joy was
almost unbearable!!
A Mystical Exp. In Ashland
I had just bought the CWG book 1 on CD and had decided to listen to
some of it. Not knowing what was on which CD, I just picked the 5th one
at random and laid down on the bed. I fell asleep, but about 3/4 of the
way through I was jolted wide awake! I don’t think my eyes were open, but
I was extremely alert and conscious and felt as if I were floating in another
dimension. The sound of the voices on the CD were loud and clear and it
totally filled and surrounded and flowed through me in a way I can’t even
describe... At first I was frightened, but soon decided that since I
desired God to communicate with me in any way at any time, I’d better relax and
listen. So I did (Checking the book, I found it had started around pg. 137 and
went to 143). Eventually the CD ended and the last words, which seemed
burned into my brain, were, “Many Masters have been sent to the Earth to
demonstrate Eternal Truth. Others,
such as John the Baptist, have been sent as messengers, telling of the Truth in
glowing terms, speaking of God with unmistakable clarity. These special messengers have been
gifted with extraordinary insight, and the very special power to see and
receive Eternal Truth, plus the ability to communicate complex concepts in ways
that can and will be understood by the masses. You are such a messenger.”
Then there was sudden total silence and I was back in my room. In
complete shock I got up and paced the floor in shock and completely in
awe. I kept saying over and over, “My God, the magic is real!”
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